Anything he can do I can do better

AKA a blog post which could also be called "If he can put up pictures of his pants then so can I!" or, "If the world really is going to end, I'm getting the last word..."

As Gordon mentioned here, in a rather overly-sensationally titled blog 'Pants: how Victoria saved the Beckham's marriage', you go through rather a lot of underwear here, taking a clean pair of knickers every time you have a shower. It's a struggle to find cotton ones here, I was regularly running a bit short, and getting a bit bored, of my plain black and plain white pants so I put out an SOS to my lovely mum.

She didn't let me down.

Yes, those are pants with stars, stripes, polka dots, flowers, and even ice cream cones.

Told you I could do it better! ;-)

Pchum Ben holiday - Melaka part 2

As I mentioned in Melaka part 1, the food in Melaka was delicious. Two of my favourite things were the roti john and the chicken and rice balls.

I love roti anyway - doughy, thick naan style bread but made of many layers of finely stretched out dough - but eating it for breakfast with curry was great. We had a savoury one with the curry and shared a sticky sweet coconut one afterwards.

the nearly finished savoury roti on the right and the still to be wolfed down coconut one on the left

Chicken and rice balls is pretty much exactly as described. What makes the rice so good is that it is cooked/soaked in the chicken stock. Eating it by itself is not the nicest thing as it is a bit wet, however, combine that with tender pieces of steamed chicken, which is quite dry by itself, and it's heaven in a mouthful. I can't believe this dish hasn't spread further. It's so simple yet darn tasty.

We had to queue outside the shop to get in (always a good sign) and I was watching everyone tucking into their lunch, sucking on the bones and sinew of all the parts of the chicken. Chicken in Cambodia, and I presume in lots of Asia, doesn't come in the sterile form we're used to in the west. Take the bird, take a machete to it and then take what you're given. This includes the head and the feet. You can imagine how delighted I was when it came to our turn to go to a table and the man said, "I give you half a chicken, just the breast and two plates of rice balls, yes?"  Yes please. Thank you very much kind sir.

As we ate, big metal buckets of cooked chickens kept getting brought out from the kitchen behind us ready to be chopped up and eaten. It really brought home to me how many animals are killed every day for us to eat. Gordon and I were 'meat reducers' back at home - we tried not to eat as much meat and the stuff we did eat we tried to make sure was free range/outdoor reared and preferably Scottish. In that one restaurant alone I would guess they would go through a good few hundred chickens a day, just for lunch. I'm sure the chicken wasn't free range or organic but some choices have had to go out the window sadly. And even the meat reducing is not happening as much in Cambodia as it's a very meat-eating country. Both choices will be back on return home though. Fear not!

Gordon was slightly less keen than me on the dish (though still demolished his share) but I would eat this at least weekly if I could, even given what I've just said above. Alongside the best sweet & sour pork I've ever eaten (from Kampong Cham) this rates as the favourite food I've eaten since leaving home.

Another one of him eating. The two he took of me I had my eyes shut in one,
and the jar of chillies covering the food in the other.

I dread to think how many chickens this man chopped up in a day...

chicken graveyard

Other fun stuff
As we were wandering round at the end of a day, we came across what looked like a bit of a street party (in Chinatown). It turned out some residents were gathering to watch the painting of a mural of eight running horses (more details on the mural here). We were invited to join and, later, treated to free food!

the outline had been sketched earlier

the painting begins

the finished article

Trishaws, the Melakan version of Cambodian cyclos, are now decorated to the max. Many have fairy lights, for night, and sound systems.

the Cambodian version by comparison

We went to a tea appreciation ceremony in Melaka too. Neither of us being great tea drinkers this was a bit of a strange choice for us, but recommendations from friends and some cracking reviews on TripAdvisor meant that we thought we'd give it a go.

that's a big slab of rather expensive tea on the left, and lots of jars of tea in containers behind

We learned how to drink the tea, out the tiny wee cups you can see on the right, in 3 slurps (and you have to slurp, not sip). I'm still not sure I love tea, but nice to try some different Chinese teas and sit and get a little drunk. On tea. Seriously.

Biggest karaoke stage ever seen
On the Saturday night, as we passed the big stage on Jonker Walk, there were some older ladies all dressed up waiting to perform on it. I think they might also have been doing karaoke (we didn't see) but on the Sunday night, it was definitely free-for-all karaoke.

I'm a big fan of karaoke but we decided to wait until everyone was gone before we got up on stage.

As always, there are too many photos and too many stories to put it all here (I'm impressed if you're still reading.) Briefly, therefore...
- we walked out to see the Straits of Melaka - one of the most important shipping lanes in the world (according to Wikipedia). It wasn't a very nice walk, it was dark, I was tired, and all we could see was a big black expanse of water when we got there. I wasn't overly impressed hence no photo (and it really was pitch black by this point so you wouldn't have seen anything anyway)

- we saw a REALLY weird ceremony in a temple on our last night. I honestly was a bit worried that someone was being sacrificed. However, the other people (mostly locals I think), who also stood outside the gates and watched didn't seem too concerned so I'm hoping it was just some kind of harmless incense-wafting, loud chanting, hand waving ceremony instead...

- also on recommendation from friends (thanks John and Olivia), we went to the Baboon House. A restaurant that was a little too expensive for us to eat in (plus we also wanted to go to Little India to eat, and also hadn't tried some other must-try delicacies) so we just shared a burger as a mid-afternoon snack, then left. Amazing place though.

- people regularly point at Gordon because he's tall. Seriously. They also come up and measure themselves against him (mostly when he's not really looking) so they can show their friends just how tall he is. Occasionally he also gets asked to be in photos. This is the first time I've had the camera ready to capture it.

- Melaka is famous for pineapple tarts. They're pretty good. Good enough to take a photo of anyway (take note, Straits of Malacca). Pink dragonfruit juice is also worthy of a photo. Amazing colour AND delicious.

- this guy has statues in at least two places in town, because he's strong. 

 Turns out, so is Gordon :)

 Turns out I like a strong man (no, completely sober before you ask).

And that was Melaka. Phew! Singapore, the second leg of this five day (yes really) holiday to follow...

Pants: How Victoria saved the Beckham's marriage

I don't think that we're getting acclimatised to the heat in Cambodia, more that we're just getting used to sweating a lot. One of the effects of constantly sweating is that you end up changing your clothes quite a lot, especially your pants (or since we have American readers, your underwear). This means that you tend to need new ones after not too long, which is where it got rather interesting in my first few weeks.

I first had to go and buy new pants after only being in the country for about four weeks, and was still in Kompong Cham. I went to a shop and had a look around but could only find pants that didn't have a hole at the front - you know the flap thing that men can open to allow them to pee standing up. For those of you who don't, below is a picture of the standard British design from good old Marks & Spencers.

You can tell Markies make quality pants, because these pants have lasted this long in Cambodia - much like Duracell batteries and Fairy liquid outlasts all pretenders.

Undeterred, I went off to the market on my search for pants with a hole. Markets are Cambodia's equivalent of the internet (they do have the internet hence this blog) - you can find anything and everything there. But shockingly, all I could find were more pants like the ones in this picture.

No hole, just a line down the middle.

Figuring that I must be doing something wrong, I attempted to ask Toll, the night porter at our hotel and beer seller at the riverside, if pants with a hole/flap thing are available in Cambodia. At this moment, I would like you to turn to the nearest person to you (or phone somebody if alone) and try to describe the hole thing in a pair of man's pants.

It's not the easiest thing to do, and certainly not when he is Khmer and I've been in the country for four weeks. I didn't manage to get any answers to fill the 'hole' in my knowledge. But I put this lack of pants with a hole as an example of the different challenges facing people outside of Phnom Penh and that soon I would be back there and able to buy proper pants.

The Russian Market (so called because all the Russians went there during the 1980s when the Soviet Union was a big influence) is known for stocking clothes more appropriate for your western man. I even managed to find a pair of flip flops big enough for me there. So, I strode in pretty confident that I could retire my Markies pants to be replaced by brand, spanking new ones...

And it was then that I found the secret as to how Victoria had prevented David Beckham from ever cheating on her again. Using their peerless power to control fashion, she ordered the sewing up of all the pants in the world as this holeless design proves.

I had to make this picture large so you could see the branding on the badge.

I hope we're all well
Flash Gordon

There's nobody playing ball

Just a strange aside to get us going is that I've noticed many schools in Cambodia have basketball courts, but that they are never used. It seems a nation of smallish people are not that interested in dunking into a ring ten feet from the ground.

But they do play football, and whilst waiting at a large intersection (it had lights!) with my team-mates there was a screech of brakes as a moto crashed into the back of another one that had stopped at the red light. Standing beside us, about 10 yards from the crash, were two policemen. Glancing up, they decided to ignore the arguing moto drivers and continue their chat.

My fellow foreigner and I found this a little strange, but our Cambodian friends found it strange that people would want the police to get involved. If the police became involved, rather than one person paying for the damage, both would probably have to pay a fee to the police for some kind of traffic violation.

I have been told that some intersections are actually sold to policemen by their bosses because they give the policemen an excellent opportunity to boost their wages by pocketing fines. Policemen earning $60 or $70 a month may feel that this is their only option. Similarly, teachers charge students to pass exams or attend class, health workers charge patients for treatment, and the woman at the Royal Palace overcharges everybody by 25 cents for entrance. If a teacher earns less than a garment factory worker then this might be expected to happen.

Whilst poverty may be the cause of this corruption, it does not explain other examples. Banks are rare, so salaries like everything else are paid in cash. By the time it goes on a few journeys and handled by a few people, those at the bottom are getting even less whilst those at the top are getting much more. These people drive flash 4x4s and live in gargantuan mansions. Hunger in the belly cannot be their reason for corruption.

The Global Fund to Fight Aids, Tuberculosis and Malaria has recently decided Cambodia would only receive their $47m grant if it is no longer managed by the Government's National Malaria Centre. An 18 month investigation found huge irregularities, plus a coffee maker that cost $1590. In Transparency International's Corruption Perception Index, Cambodia ranks 157 out of 174 - behind Syria, Congo and Yemen.

And whilst we in the richer, donor countries feel that we are the paying the price of this large scale corruption, we are not. The one who is paying the price is the 8 year old child who drops out of school because her family cannot afford the daily (illegal) fee. Or the family who lose a father because they cannot pay medical fees.

It could be that the horror of war for nearly 30 years has left some people to think only of themselves and maybe their families. Certainly, the leaders of industry and government are likely to have been teenagers or young men fighting in civil wars or surviving the Khmer Rouge, only then to struggle for lives in refugee camps. If these are the people leading society and setting the example, the example is having a car worth more than your salary.

In ER, after Dr. Ross (Clooney) has already left, Dr. Greene (Goose from Top Gun) leaves the hospital for the last time. He walks past and takes a basketball from Carter (not famous for anything else really) who is shooting hoops. Carter feels lost and worried about what will happen to the ER now that its leader, Greene, is leaving with Ross already gone. Greene gives the ball to Carter and tells him that it is now up to him to set the tone.

And that's the problem in Cambodia - the leaders aren't playing ball.

Gordon

PS, referencing TV shows will not be a permanent theme of all future blogs. Although, I could maybe try to take requests and see how they could be linked in some way to life in Cambodia!

Pchum Ben holiday - Melaka part 1

For Pchum Ben, a Buddhist holiday that took place in October and is about paying respect to ancestors, Gordon and I decided to leave Cambodia and explore a wee bit more of the big wide world. After much debate - after all Vietnam, Laos and Burma are close by and China, Japan, Bali and even Australia are not that far away - we settled on Singapore and Melaka (Malacca), a port town in Malaysia.

Flights to Singapore were under $100 each, return, so it was with slight trepidation that I waited to board the Tiger Airways flight. However all passed without hiccup and the flight was pretty good. A gold star for Singapore's budget airline.

We arrived in Singapore but were immediately heading to Melaka. After a slick journey on the MRT (their under- and overground system) and a friendly greeting by our bus company rep I was worried I might not want to return to Phnom Penh. In Singapore you can walk on the pavements - and they're not cracked and broken, or filled with rubbish, or have motos bearing down on you as they spot a shortcut through the traffic. I thought it was probably a good thing we left the city sharpish!

Our four hour bus to Melaka was one of the most luxurious buses I think I've ever been on. Super comfy seats that reclined to practically horizontal. Bliss! There was one other person on the bus when we got on - a Scottish guy from Glasgow. What are the chances. He had left his job at Bauer Radio (radios Clyde, Tay, Forth etc) and was travelling for a few months.

Melaka is an historical port town and a UNESCO World Heritage Site. Malay, Chinese, Indian, Dutch and Portuguese influences abound which makes for some fabulous food.

After dropping off bags we headed down towards Jonker Street where they have a night market every weekend.

he hates when I take pics of him eating

tasty fried noodles

one end of Jonker Walk - the end with the MASSIVE stage

hustle and bustle on Jonker Street - taken right beside the MASSIVE stage

Jonker Street is lined with food stalls and market stalls selling all kinds of wonderful stuff. We did a spot of Christmas shopping as well as buying some new bike lights, me an Angry Birds t-shirt (it's awesome) and Gordon lots and lots of snacks.

The buildings and streets in Melaka are a photographer's delight and I spent most of the next few days with my camera glued to my face. 

dragon on Kampong Kling mosque

top of Kampong Kling mosque

I particularly loved all the buildings in the Chinese part of town.

They'd used the Chinese lanterns to form the body of the dragon the
whole way down the street. The photo doesn't do it justice.

We went on a boat trip down the river, passing all the amazing decorated buildings along the way. Right at the end we also finally saw one of the monitor lizards that are meant to be all over the town. I managed to snap a quick photograph but it is not of a high enough quality to make the blog so you'll just have to take our word for it. (Dad has also requested that I put less photos in the blog as when he prints the blog out for my Gran to read it's getting to be too many pages. Don't say I don't listen to you Pops!)

Part two of our Melaka trip to follow, I hope, shortly. In the meantime, here are some more shots of lovely things that tickled my fancy...

multi-lingual!