In the class or practicing with other volunteers, we're yapping away in Khmai (for new readers, Khmer is actually Khmai) showing off how we can say we are going to the bank after reading this book; or will be working in Phnom Penh for two years; or where our favourite restaurant is because the food is spicy. Oh I was revelling in the smugness.
Then the truck, which was a meeting with the organisations we will be working with, ran into town and sped over me leaving me squished in a dazed, confused heap.
Imagine being at a F1 racetrack. You sit readying yourself for Schumacher’s Ferrari or Hamilton’s McLaren to come round the corner, down the straight and speed off into the distance. Then when it happens, a blur appears amidst a roar of noise and before you recognize who it is, you’re left peering at a dot in the distance struggling to make sense of what you had just seen.
Well, that’s how I felt when the first person got up to speak in Khmai.
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| Our first meeting in Khmai - with our new organisations |
All of those classes and practice were for nothing as my eyes squinted and then widened to be the size of Shadow’s from Gladiators. I could not believe what I was hearing because it certainly wasn’t anything like the Khmai I had heard in class.
And this seems to be the problem. Whereas we speak Khmai slower than a slo mo replay of Stephen Hawkings (sorry), they unsurprisingly speak like a speeding Ferrari.
I sometimes caught the odd word, which momentarily raised hopes and excitement. However, this word was often “neak-smak-chet” which means a volunteer. So initial delight became a little jaded when all it meant was that you knew they were talking about you but had no idea what exactly.
The comedy moment came when I was neak-smak-chetted to participate in a role play as the hapless volunteer who could not understand anything that was being said in their office, therefore missing meetings and not following important discussions. Following The Method style of acting, I pulled off pretending to have no clue about what was going on with ease.
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| Gordon "pretending" to not understand Khmai in a role play |
Feeling utterly incompetent is obviously bad enough. But it also means that you need everything translated causing meetings to last twice as long. This causes the pain to be not only deep but Duracell battery lasting in length. And I already feel my last breath ebbing away in meetings that don't need constant translation.
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| Khmai script - there is no way we'll be learning to read this |
However, fear not for us hapless neak-smak-chets because my sister gave me a Cambodian for Beginners CD at Christmas with real Khmai people speaking on it. This is on course to replace The Corrs at the top of my CD listening list.
Gordon
PS, on a bright note, we have learned “mean tong” which means “have bag” thus reducing the number of plastic bags we get with every item purchased. They love giving you plastic bags here.
